Fart > Titties? In what world?! (Hint: Apple’s)

I call shenanigans!!  Wired reported that Apple’s director of applications technology, Phillip Shoemaker, has been selling apps in the Apple App Store under the company name Gray Noodle.  No biggie.  But this guy, this guy!, has been selling fart and urination apps.  \/\/ Whateva!

So you can’t get bikini apps, but farts?  Why not?  It’s ok, everyone does it!  It’s natural.  Just like sex…. wait. a. minute.  SHENANIGANS!

In all seriousness, Apple has every right to decide what’s in their store, but open up the mall for other players (MiKandi).  C’mon!  You handle the farts, we’ll handle the breasts.  Judging from the abundance of fart apps in the App Store, it’s a win-win.

MiKandi, the app store that treats you like an adult.

Steve Jabs (let see if this nickname sticks) is at it again.  The second time this month, Jabs takes another swipe at Google, Android, MiKandi and the adult industry.  Ok, we get it, Steve!  You don’t like porn.

In an email correspondence concerning the recent rejection (and soon acceptance) of a political satire app that features the work of Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist Mark Fiore, Apple consumer Matthew Browing expresses his concern with Apple’s arbitrary approval process.  Incredibly, Browing gets a direct response from Jobs himself, who doesn’t miss a beat, but definitely avoids the question.

From: AVN

The consumer, Matthew Browing, wrote Jobs directly, saying, “”It appears that more and more Apple is determining for its consumers what content they should be able to receive. I’m all for keeping porn out of kids’ hands. Heck—I’m all for ensuring that I don’t have to see it unless I want to. But … that’s what parental controls are for. Put these types of apps into categories and allow them to be blocked by their parents should they want to.

“Apple’s role isn’t moral police,” he continued. “Apple’s role is to design and produce really cool gadgets that do what the consumer wants them to do.”

Jobs’ response, which, we repeat, was presumably made not in haste but deliberatively, once again stressed his intense disinterest and dislike for adult fare on “his” devices.

“Fiore’s app will be in the store shortly,” he wrote Browning. “That was a mistake. However, we do believe we have a moral responsibility to keep porn off the iPhone. Folks who want porn can buy an Android phone.

As with Jobs’ first porn complaint, the world will probably scratch its collective head once again in trying to decipher the meaning of these comments, especially considering the fact that people can access porn through browsers. A curious omission was a lack of response by Jobs to the comment about parental controls. One might assume that Apple would embrace filtering technology, especially considering its stance on porn.

It makes sense why Apple would want to omit an explicit category from the App Store.  They’d have the train their employees to look at porn apps all day for “quality assurance” testing (snicker).  We’d like to propose this solution to Apple: open the iPhone and we’ll gladly step in to fill that void as an uncensored third party iPhone app store.

No?  Eh, it was worth a shot.

All jokes aside, we think it’s excellent that there is more clarity from Apple and we’re happy to work with any mobile app developers who are impacted by Apple’s decision.  Our developers love that our audience is all 18+ and that we’re clear with consumers about what’s going on, so we’re excited to continue building the first app store that treats you like an adult.

P.S. Android FTW

Apple rejects “Overtly Sexual” content from App Store

Adult app developers, in case you didn’t get the point that Apple doesn’t want you, they’ve just made another move to drive the point home.  Previously approved “sexy” apps in their 17+ category have been rejected and taken off the market in one fell swoop.  However, true to form, Apple has kept the Victoria’s Secret app on their market.

From Tech Crunch:

Apple may have just made a major change to the App Store that could render many developers’ applications worthless. We’ve just heard from Jon Atherton, the developer behind Wobble iBoobs, who says that he just received an Email from Apple indicating that his application was being removed from the App Store because of a new policy change: Apple has apparently decided “to remove any overtly sexual content from the App Store.”

Even developers who have complied with Apple’s stringent guidelines  have fared the same fate as Wobble iBoobs.  Says the developer of Featured Pinups,

The sad part is that this application didn’t really have anything obscene, it was just a simple application to showcase the featured pictures of the day of PinupLifestyle.com who hired me to build the application.

Comments have a good mix of supporters and opponents of Apple’s practices, but the overall attitude of the opponents is summarized quite well with one statement.

It might be THEIR platform, but it’s MY phone; I should be able to put whatever the hell I want on it.

So if you’ve been wondering if you can make money with an adult iPhone app on the App Store, the answer is a big fat NO.  Unless you like spending thousands of dollars developing an app (that is heavily censored, we might add) for 2 months, then waiting for 6-12 months for approval only to get rejected, we highly advise against it.

Don’t worry developers, MiKandi supports you and your sexy apps.  Come to the dark side.  We have cookies.

Hyprocrisy, thy name is Apple

Apple proves its a big fat hypocrite this month by approving the image viewer app forChan, then promptly banning it from their market.  Why?  Because apps that have the ability to view porn (whether or not that is what the app is designed to do) are rejected, according to Apple’s Terms.
However, true to Apple’s “My Way or the Highway” attitude, the very friendly porn viewer app, Microsoft’s Bing, remains on the Apple market. 
From Gizmodo

Bing, Microsoft’s dedicated web searcher, must be deleted from the iTunes App Store at once. Why? Its image browsing mode can be set to watch hardcore porn. If Apple wants to follow their own absurd rules, Bing must be obliterated.Seriously, why is Bing still in the Apple store? Its image search engine is perfect to browse porn. Just go into preferences, turn off the adult content filter—one click—and boom, instant hardcore porn browser. And a very sleek one at that, too.

 Would Apple delete Bing, which does what ForChan does but much easier and with much more explicit and unlimited results? My guess is that they won’t, because Microsoft is Microsoft, not a no-name app developer.

They should, however, just to be consistent with their stupid “no-porn” policy. And if we are at it, let’s delete the Camera and Photo album app too, because I can use them to take photos of my naked fiancee. Let’s delete any app that can be used to record and transmit porn images online. Let’s ban the sale of iPhones and MacBooks too.

Or maybe they should do the right thing, because all of this is just stupid: Stop censoring, let people decide what to do with their gadgets and software. At least when it comes to the content that we decide to store or access through our cellphones or computers.


If you’re a developer and you’re tired of Apple’s moral authority, email us at developer@mikandi.com

MiKandi doesn’t censor, restrict, or edit your adult-content applications from our market.    As long as it’s legal, the sky’s the limit.

Finally, an app store that treats you like an adult.  Feels good, don’t it?